Drowning
by Michelle1017
Summary: Emily and Naomi are both sixteen but have never met. It's the summer holidays before the start of college but Emily has been kicked out by her mum leading to some dark times but is there anyone around the corner that can stop her from drowning in the darkness...
1. Chapter 1

**I have had this idea running around in my head for a while and finally got round to starting to put it down on paper, I have a plan for this story but who knows what might happen when I get further into it. Anyway here is the first chapter, not sure what to think about it all really...**

* * *

Chapter One

Emily

I was so cold as once again I settled down in a shop doorway; I could feel my whole body shivering as the darkness began to creep in as night fell all over again. I hugged my knees to my chest trying to create even the smallest amount of warmth as I watched people walking by, I felt so invisible as everybody avoided meeting my gaze, I could tell what they were thinking 'another young girl running away probably with a drug addiction that's torn her family apart.' I really wish people wouldn't judge others without knowing the full story, you can never really know a person's story unless you take the time to stop and talk to them but I guess in the society we live today it is easier to judge. I had been out here about a week now just wandering the streets looking for any scraps of food I could find, drinking water from the taps in public toilets and moving from one shop doorway to another. My whole body ached and I was covered in bruises and my eyes were sore with tiredness, I haven't slept the last couple of nights, who am I kidding I haven't slept all week but the last couple of night especially, I didn't dare close my eyes after the other night, the night I knew I would never be able to forget , the night I knew would haunt me for a long time to come, just the thoughts now made me want to scream and I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I ducked my head just wanting to curl up and forget about everything the sobs quietly escaping however hard I tried to stop them. 

* * *

A while later, I don't know how long as time didn't seem to matter anymore I didn't have to be anywhere at any particular time, I heard a soft voice "Are you ok love?"

I lifted my head slowly with a mix of surprise and thankfulness, it had felt like forever since anyone had spoken to me, the one thing I can honestly say I've felt during this last week is invisible and I mean completely invisible. I met the eyes belonging to the lady crouched down to my level as I drew my knees closer to my body, fear from the other night creeping in all over again "I'm fine."

She smiled slightly and I knew she could see my fear "It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you, I want to help you." I could see her searching my eyes for a reaction I really didn't know how to react though "I'm Gina by the way, Gina Campbell."

She reached out her hand to shake mine and hesitantly I moved my arm reaching out to take her hand "I'm Emily." I didn't want to give her my full name.

She moved slightly so she was sitting next to me "Emily I know we have only just met and I don't want to come across as rude but you look terrible, you're covered in scratches and bruises, I can see you are scared and you are shivering so I know you must be absolutely freezing."

I shivered "It's ok I know I look rough and it is shit scary to be out here but I haven't got much choice I don't have anywhere else to go."

I could see the concern in her eyes as she turned to me again "I was serious earlier Emily I want to help you, you are only a young girl, in fact you look about the same age as my daughter and I wouldn't want her in this situation as much as I don't want to see you in this situation."

I sighed "What can you do to help me?"

She smiled slightly "I can give you a roof over your head, three meals a day and a hot shower."

I was confused and I couldn't stop the thoughts running through my head 'why would a complete stranger want to help me.' I wanted to scream why me, why me, why me? Instead I returned her smile "Why would you want to help me?"

She looked into my eyes "There are many reasons, one because you are a young girl who looks like she could do with some care and attention and I would hope someone would do the same for my Naomi if she did find herself in this situation god forbid, two because everyone has a story and I can see yours isn't good, I can see you have been through something traumatic, don't worry I am not going to push you but I want you to know you have someone you can talk to when you are ready and three just because I want to help you, show you there is some good in the world."

I couldn't help but smile as a tear rolled down my cheek "That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time."

She smiled "Will you let me help you Emily?"

I took a deep breath with so many thoughts swirling round my head, I knew I would be taking a risk I didn't know anything about this women but I could see she was friendly and she appeared genuine. I couldn't help but think I would be so much safer with her than out here with some of the scum I have come across. I slowly nodded my head and spoke softly "Yeah, Ok."

She smiled "Good because I wasn't going to give up." She shifted her body standing up before reaching out to me. I took a deep breath as I reached up to take her hand, she helped me up from the ground and I screamed out, I couldn't help it as all the pain shot through my body. Gina looked concerned "Emily what happened?"

I shook my head "I don't want to talk about it, I'm not ready."

She nodded "Ok, whenever you're ready."

I suddenly felt guilty this women was trying to help me and I wasn't exactly being nice. I looked into her eyes and I could instantly see the warmth and the kindness. I pulled my hand from hers and slowly lifted my top a little revealing the dark bruises across my stomach and ribs "I'm not ready to talk about what happened but this is what caused the pain just now, it's not just my face that is battered and bruised."

She looked concerned "I should take you to the hospital you need checking over."

I quickly shook my head and snapped "No." I paused "Sorry I shouldn't have snapped but I don't want to go to hospital, they will ask questions and I'm not ready to answer them, I will be ok."

She didn't say anything and for that I was thankful, she had obviously listened to my explanation and probably seen the fear in my eyes and she just led me in the direction we needed to go in a comfortable silence. 

* * *

After about 15 minutes of walking she opened a small wooden gate and began walking up the path. I paused wondering again if this was the right thing. Gina saw I had stopped and took a few steps back towards me "Are you ok?"

A tear slipped down my cheek "Are you sure about this, I will be ok you know, you have Naomi to think about."

She smiled slightly "Don't you worry about Naomi I will handle her. I want to help you Emily, I want to know that you are safe."

I nodded "Ok."

We entered the house and immediately the warmth enveloped me and I had never been so thankful. Gina closed the door and a young girl about my age came running down the stairs "Fuck mum where have you been? I have been so worried." She stopped when she saw me "Who's this?"

I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous Naomi was with her shoulder length blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She looked directly at her mum as Gina began explaining "Love please don't be so rude, Emily is going to be a guest in our house. I found her in a shop doorway and knew she needed our help."

Naomi looked annoyed "I thought you had fucking stopped this mum, you promised me."

Gina glared at her daughter "Emily needs help love, look at her, she is covered in cuts and bruises, she is freezing cold and was shit scared when I found her. She is young Naomi, probably the same age as you and all I can hope is that if this was you someone would do what I am doing for Emily now."

Everything was quiet for a few seconds; I could feel the tension as Naomi turned to me. I turned away from her gaze "It's ok I will go I don't want to cause any trouble between the two of you."

I moved towards the door about to leave when Naomi spoke "No its ok stay." With that she spun around and took herself off upstairs.

Gina smiled slightly "Don't worry about her, she can be a bit prickly at times but she will come around. Now come through to the kitchen and I will clean up your face before getting you some towels so you can have a shower. I will then cook you a hot dinner, you look like you need a few hot dinners."

I smiled feeling the happiest I had in a long time "Thanks Gina that sounds great."

She led me into the kitchen and directed me to sit on one of the wooden chairs as she filled up a small bowl with warm water and grabbed some cotton pads before sitting opposite me "This might sting a little."

I nodded "Ok."

She was so gently with me and I felt so cared for, the feeling almost took away the pain from the stinging. She smiled slightly "You've really been through the wars."

I nodded slightly "I try not to think about it." I knew I was lying because what had happened last week and a couple of days ago was the only thing I could think about both day and night. It was something I knew would never leave me and was so thankful Gina wasn't pushing me to talk.

A few minutes later she stood and tipped the water away "If you follow me I will show you the bathroom and get you some towels, take as long as you want in the shower. Then once you are done come down to the kitchen again and there will be something ready for you to eat."

I smiled, I couldn't help it "Thank you so much Gina."

She smiled and handed me some towels "You're welcome Emily." 

* * *

She left me alone for my shower after grabbing some clean clothes from Naomi for me. I stripped off putting my dirty clothes in the laundry basket as Gina had asked and stood still just letting the hot water run over my skin, I immediately felt my body relax a little as I cleaned the dirt smears from my skin. I felt the sadness wash over me when I caught a glimpse of all my bruises again, every thought and feeling came back to me and the only thing that stopped me from screaming out was knowing that here I am safe.

After a while I dried myself off and put on the pyjamas that were amongst the pile Gina had given me and made my way downstairs. On the table in the kitchen was a plate of pasta, my stomach rumbled and Gina laughed "Dig in."

I sat down and quickly started eating feeling so hungry. Gina sat with me "We will go out and buy you some clothes and other bits tomorrow."

I smiled slightly "You don't have to do that Gina."

She nodded "I want to Emily, you don't have anything to call your own and that's not right so I won't listen to any arguments from you ok."

I knew better than to argue as there was such a look of determination on Gina's face "Ok."

I finished my second plate of pasta and for the first time in a week I felt full. I quickly drank the juice in front of me, my thirst catching up with me as Gina glanced across at me from the sink "Can I get you anything else love?"

I smiled as I shook my head "I'm ok thanks, that was absolutely amazing and I don't want to seem rude but I'd just like to sleep now, I am so tired."

Gina smiled "I will show you your room."

I followed her upstairs and she opened the door on the left "Make yourself at home love."

I smiled before looking round the room taking everything in, the room was painted cream with a couple of framed pictures on the walls. There was a double bed positioned under the window with a set of draws at either side and a wardrobe in the corner. I turned to Gina "Thank you for this, you know for everything. You didn't have to help me."

She smiled and I knew she wanted to hug me, she didn't though and I was thankful for that, I don't think I am ready for that contact from anyone and Gina could see that "You don't have to keep thanking me love, I wanted to help you, I am glad I can help you now go and jump into that bed and get some sleep and Emily remember you are safe here."

I smiled weakly and walked over to get into bed, once under the covers Gina flicked the light off and spoke softly "Night Emily."

In that moment I felt cared for again and whispered back "Night Gina" before feeling my tiredness pulling at my eyelids, the lack of sleep over the last week finally catching up with me now I knew I had a safe place to stay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews and for adding this to your alerts and favourites, I hope people like this story. I have just written chapter five and I must say it is quite draining to write, I much much prefer writing happy Emily and Naomi, it will come in this story but slowly so stick with it. **

**Anyway here is the next chapter and we get a little insight into what might have happened to Emily but the full story won't come just yet but it won't be too long until we find out what happened to her. Also a little more Naomi in this chapter... **

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Chapter Two

Emily 

_Everything was black as I huddled myself in my most recent doorway. I was so tired and could feel my eyes closing my body finally giving in. The sounds of people's feet scuttling by slowly drifted out as I fell asleep using my small rucksack with a tiny amount of clothes in as a pillow. Suddenly I was woken up by someone tugging at the bag beneath my head, I felt the tears forming in my eyes scared of what could be about to happen. I lifted my head and my voice croaked "Just take it and then leave me alone."_

_He laughed and it instantly hit me how evil it sounded, his voice was gruff as he spoke "That would be too easy anyway people like you get what they deserve." _

_Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I felt his foot against my stomach and then my ribs. I tried to curl up to stop him but I just didn't have the strength. I felt the pain throughout my body even when he stopped kicking. I thought he would take my bag and go now but I was wrong as I felt his hot breath on my face and his fingers trace a line down my cheek "Please don't" I begged knowing what was about to happen but he just laughed once again "But you're such a pretty young thing."_

_My tears were streaming down my cheeks now as he pushed his body further against mine, I was in so much pain from the beating I didn't have any strength to try and fight…_

* * *

I woke up bolt upright in bed screaming. It was only when the door burst open and Gina enveloped me in her arms that I remembered where I was. She held me tightly whispering "It's ok Emily, you're ok, and you're safe now."

I slowly let my body relax against hers when a groggy looking Naomi appeared in the doorway "What the fuck is going on?"

Gina didn't release her hold on me as she looked up at Naomi "Go back to bed love, Emily just had a nightmare."

I could feel Naomi looking at me but I refused to meet her eyes, I felt so guilty she didn't want me here in the first place and now I was disturbing her sleep. I mumbled into Gina's chest "I'm sorry."

I heard Naomi's door close again and Gina spoke softly "Don't worry about her she's not as moody as she makes herself out to be, she can actually be nice when she wants to be."

I lifted my head and smiled slightly "I'm sorry for disturbing you too I just felt like I was back there again, it all felt so real."

She continued to hold me close "What happened to you Emily, you can trust me I promise."

I felt safe with Gina I really did and I played with the idea of opening up to her until suddenly all my barriers came crashing back up and I completely shut down "I'm not ready, I can't."

She stopped me whispering "It's ok Emily I'm not going to push but just remember you know where I am when you are ready."

I nodded "Thanks Gina."

She refused to leave me and just held me close to her until eventually I gave in to sleep again.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning I was alone I had finally managed to get a couple of hours sleep, it wasn't enough but it was a start, I know I am safe here but I also knew that wouldn't stop the nightmares and the thoughts that were always at the forefront of my mind. I took a deep breath and went to get out of bed when there was a light knock on the door "It's Gina love."

I smiled to myself "Come in."

The door opened slowly and she came in balancing a tray on one arm "I've made you some breakfast love, I thought you might be hungry."

I smiled "Starving."

She laughed and set the tray down in front of me before sitting down on the bed, I quickly began eating as I wasn't lying when I said I was starving and fuck it tasted so good, I don't think I had tasted food this good ever. Gina just sat with me and it was comforting, she really seemed to care and that was something I hadn't felt for a long time even before I found myself on the streets. Once I had finished Gina took the tray and put it by the door before she came back to sit with me, she didn't try to hold me, I knew she was aware of my vulnerability and I know I let her hold me last night but that was completely different I needed to feel safe in that moment. "Emily how do you feel about going out in a while to do that shopping we talked about yesterday."

Suddenly my body froze and I know I had agreed to it last night but after my nightmares I don't think I could face going out, being outside made it all too real. My breathing was shallow as I felt the panic in my stomach "I, I don't, don't think I can. The thought of going out there again terrifies me. I know I would be safe with you but it's too soon, I'm, I'm just not ready."

I could see the sadness in her eyes as she watched the tears falling from my eyes "It's ok Emily, it's ok. I know it's not ideal but I will go and get you some bits, I just hope I come back with something decent."

I laughed a little "You're being kind enough to buy me some stuff I will like whatever you get."

She smiled "Well you make yourself at home whilst I am gone and don't take any shit from that daughter of mine."

I smiled "I will probably just stay up here I don't want to get in her way."

Gina stood up to leave the room "You can be wherever you like I want you to think of this as your home. I just want you to be comfortable Emily."

I smiled slightly "Thanks Gina, I'll try." 

* * *

A few minutes later I could hear her talking to Naomi "I'm going out for a while love."

Naomi bit back "Yeah whatever."

I could tell Gina ignored the tone of Naomi's voice "I want you to stay here, Emily is not feeling up to going out and I don't want her to be alone, she is scared and vulnerable and we need to make her feel safe."

I could hear the annoyance in Naomi's tone "Fine whatever, you do what you like. I will stay here with her but I won't be talking to her, she's your project not mine."

Gina sounded cross "She is nobody's project Naomi, she is a young, scared, vulnerable girl who has been through something terrible and I want to help her. If I am completely honest Naomi I am disappointed with you, this is not how I raised you."

I heard the door close a moment later and Gina's footsteps down the stairs. I felt a sadness creep in, I didn't want Gina and Naomi fighting because of me, I quickly made the decision to stay in my room out of their way to reduce the tension between them. 

* * *

Naomi

A while after mum left I went down to the kitchen to make a coffee. As I waited for the kettle to boil mums words echoed around my head '_she is a young, scared, vulnerable girl who has been through something terrible.' _If that was me I would want someone to help me I just didn't want to get myself involved, I should be happy she has my mum though if anyone can help her she can.

The kettle whistled before clicking letting me know the water was hot enough. I made two cups of coffee before making my way upstairs. I put one on the carpet outside Emily's room and tapped lightly before quickly running into my room not wanting to have to talk to her, I would let mum do the caring.

I heard Emily open the door and soon after heard it close again. I waited a few minutes and quietly opened my door a crack to see if she had taken the coffee. I couldn't help but smile seeing that she had. I quietly closed my door again and went back to the music I was listening to. 

* * *

A couple of hours later I heard the front door and knew mum was home, I decided to stay in my room as I knew she would still be mad with me, that was my plan anyway but that all changed when I heard her shouting my name from the bottom of the stairs. I emerged reluctantly hoping she wasn't going to have another go at me "What is it mum?"

She smiled softly "Can you just come and help me with something down here?"

I knew better than to argue "I'll be down in a minute." I went to turn my music off and made my way downstairs."

Mum was in the lounge surrounded by shopping bags "Now love please don't be mad but I've bought Emily some clothes, she didn't have anything and she can't keep borrowing from you."

I rolled my eyes "I'm not mad mum everyone needs clothes but what do you need my help with?"

She smiled "Well as you know fashion isn't my strongest point so I just want you to tell me what you think before I take them up for her."

I laughed "Ok."

She hugged me "Thanks for trying Naomi. How has she been whilst I've been out?"

I decided to keep quiet about the coffee I didn't want her thinking I had gone soft "She's not come out of her room."

She looked a little sad "I thought you might say that, I'll give her time."

I smiled "Yeah, now come on let's see these clothes."

To be honest mum hadn't done a bad job with the clothes I could tell she had been to the shops she knows I go to. She was looking at me with hope, hope that I was going to be positive "They're great mum, I'm sure she will be happy with anything but she will like them, I know I would."

I knew I had said the right thing as mums face lit up "Thanks love I'll just go up and give her them."

She hurried out the room to make her way upstairs, I heard the knock on the door and heard Emily answer, I also heard mum gasp I'm guessing as she saw Emily "Emily love you're crying, what is it?"

I heard a few footsteps and assumed they had gone into the room, I know I kept telling mum I didn't want anything to do with Emily but something now was making me want to hear what was going on, to see if the young girl opened up about anything. I crept up the stairs a little way and sat where I knew I would be able to hear especially as mum had not fully shut the door. Mums voice was soft as she asked once again "What is it Emily love?"

Emily replied quietly between sobs "It's nothing; I was just being stupid and got upset."

Even I knew she was lying so mums next words were no surprise "Emily love both you and I know that is not true, I know something has happened to you and I hope you know that you can talk to me." She paused "You can trust me Emily."

Emily was still sobbing quietly "It's not that I don't trust you Gina, you have done nothing but help me and I want to tell you my story but I can't bring myself to talk about it, there are so many emotions I keep feeling about everything and I don't know how to process any of it."

It was upsetting me listening to her she really sounds like she has been through so much but I was still determined I wasn't getting involved with anything, I knew she had mum. Mum spoke softly again "Why don't we start with the emotions you're feeling, maybe opening up about some things will help you process others."

Emily's voice was weak from crying but I could still make out her words "One minute I'm angry the next I'm upset, I can't help but think it is all my fault in the first place. I don't want to think about any of it I just want to forget what happened but I can't get it out of my head, I feel ashamed, embarrassed, so alone and I really feel like I can't trust anyone except you and I guess Naomi a little. I know she doesn't like me or want me here but I am thankful to her that she agreed anyway."

I could tell this was all upsetting mum, she hates seeing people in pain be it emotionally or physically "Oh Emily love I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through but I will be here when you feel up to talking, I don't want you bottling things up." She paused before continuing speaking "And don't you worry about Naomi she comes across as being a prickly little madam with a heart of stone but she can also be a lovely young girl when she wants to be so give her some time."

It was now I wish I could see Emily's reaction but I could only hear the words as she spoke softly "Ok." She paused "Thanks Gina, you know for everything."

I heard mum stand up and walk towards the door "You're very welcome love, now why don't you get some rest you look exhausted. I will leave these bags of clothes here for you to look through later."

I knew I couldn't sit here any longer not unless I wanted mum to know I had been listening so I quickly moved into the lounge. I had only sat on the sofa a matter of seconds when mum walked through, I looked up from the magazine I was pretending to read "Did she like them then?"

Mum rolled her eyes "Naomi love you can't fool me I know you have just heard that whole conversation, I heard you come running back in here."

I put the magazine down again "I guess that's me busted then." I paused as mum smiled slightly "Mum what do you think happened to her she sounded pretty upset."

She sat down next to me "I don't know love but it sounds like it was pretty horrible."

I nodded in agreement before mum spoke again "I just hope she opens up soon it will do her no good bottling everything up."

I rested my hand on mum's knee "She will open up eventually and when she does she will have the best person to help her."

Mum nodded "Yeah I will be here when she's ready." She turned to look at me "Anyway what have you done with my daughter, you know the moody one who doesn't care."

I rolled my eyes "Haha very fucking funny."

Mum smiled "Oh there she is panic over."

I couldn't help but smile slightly before standing up "I'm going to my room, don't stress about Emily too much."

I walked out the room leaving my mum deep in thought about Emily, if I am completely honest she is all I can think about at the moment after hearing that conversation but I didn't want mum to pick up on the fact I cared even if it was just a little bit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok it is getting extremely wet and windy here and I hate wind so I thought I would post this before I plan on going to hide under my duvet even if it only 5pm. I am really not sure about this chapter, I have read it through a few times and have just decided to post it anyway so I hope it is in actual fact ok, time will tell. There are parts from both points of view but we get more of an insight into what Naomi is thinking, oh and welcome Effy into the story, can she talk any sense into our Naomi...**

**I would like to thank everyone for your reviews so far and for adding this to your alerts and favourites, I really do love reading what you think, I am enjoying writing this but parts of it are proving to be hard to write. **

* * *

Chapter Three

Naomi

A week had passed and Emily had still barely left her bedroom, mum went in numerous times a day to see how she was, I know she was growing increasingly worried day by day especially as every night Emily woke up screaming from one nightmare after another, something really was tormenting her and upsetting her and she still wasn't opening up.

I was lying in bed after another disturbed night's sleep, I knew that would normally make me cranky but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to be mad I knew she couldn't help it and I also knew she wouldn't want them to be happening, I knew she just wanted everything to go away. I could hear Emily sobbing again through the wall and decided it was time to drag myself out of bed, don't get me wrong I love the summer holidays as it means I can lie around in bed or do exactly what I want but it also gets boring, I seriously cannot wait for Effy to be back from her holiday.

I made my way downstairs in a search for coffee; it was always a must in a morning however late it was in a morning. I found mum in the kitchen as usual in her usual chirpy mood, I know she was trying to hide her worry about Emily from me "Morning love, I'm just making some lunch for Emily and I, would you like some?"

I smiled "That would be great, thanks mum." I paused "She's crying up there again I could hear her through the wall."

Her face dropped and I could see the concern creep back into her eyes "I wish she would open up so I could try and help her." She paused and turned the cooker off before turning her attention back to me "Naomi love do you think you could possibly talk to her, she might open up to you."

I shook my head "I don't think so mum, I don't want to get involved and anyway she thinks I don't like her so why would she even talk to me."

Mum looked disappointed and that is always worse than when she is angry, I could even hear the disappointment in her voice however much she tried to hide it "It's ok love it was just a thought you know with you being about the same age she might relate to you more than me. Honestly though it's ok I'm sure she will talk to me in her own time."

The doorbell rang giving me my escape from this conversation "I'll get it." I started to walk away but turned back briefly feeling a little guilty "I'll think about it mum."

She smiled "Thanks love."

I knew I had just cheered her up a bit with the whole situation as I continued on my way to open the door. I opened it up to see Effy stood on my doorstep, I couldn't help but smile it was so fucking good to see her. I moved aside so she could come inside and we went into the lounge, mum popped her head out the kitchen "Oh hello Effy love, it's good to see you, did you have a good holiday?"

Effy smiled "Hi Gina, yeah it was good but now I want to hear all about this girl you've taken in, Emily is it?"

Mums face dropped "She told you then."

Effy glanced at me before turning back to mum "Yeah she mentioned it in a text well a couple of texts; I'm actually beginning to think your daughter might actually have a heart."

I smacked her on the arm as mum laughed "Time will tell Effy love, time will tell." I glared at the both before mum turned back to go to the kitchen calling back over her shoulder "You want lunch Effy?"

Effy smiled "That would be great thanks Gina."

Mum went back to making lunch as I made Eff and I a coffee "Mum do you mind if Eff and I have lunch upstairs we have a lot to catch up on."

Mum smiled "That's fine love I'll bring it up to you both when I take Emily hers."

I returned her smile "Thanks mum." 

* * *

I put some music on in my room before flopping back onto my bed next to Effy "So how was the holiday really?"

She laughed next to me "It wasn't as bad as it fucking could have been but you know my parents. I found my ways of escaping and they usually involved hot Italian men." I couldn't help but laugh that definitely sounded like Effy "Anyway enough about me I want to know more about what's been going on here."

I took a deep breath "There's not much to tell really mum found her and took her in, she was covered in cuts and bruises, looked absolutely exhausted and was starving."

Effy sighed next to me "Sounds like she's been through something pretty rough."

I nodded "Yeah, she's not really come out of her room since she got here, she keeps herself to herself but has these nightmares, every night she wakes up screaming the place down crying her eyes out. I know mum is really worried about her but Emily won't open up to her. Mum wants me to try talking to her but I don't want to get involved in any of it I told mum that from the beginning and anyway I don't see what fucking good I can do." I paused "She thinks I don't like her anyway I heard her telling mum."

Effy moved onto her side propping herself up on her elbow "Naomi you're my best friend and I love you but you can be a complete bitch at times, have you actually ever given the poor girl any reason to think you like her."

I didn't even need to think before answering that, I shook my head "You have a good point I've not exactly been too fucking friendly towards her."

Effy rolled her eyes "That sounds like the Naomi we all know but honestly maybe you should try talking to her she sounds like she needs someone."

I snapped fed up with feeling pressured "You go talk to her then."

Effy glared at me "It's not me that has been living with her for the past week and a bit, she doesn't even fucking know who I am, just give it a go Naomi you never know what might happen she might actually open up to you. All I know is that I would like to think someone would help me if it was me in that situation. As you know I've run away a few times in the past and sleeping rough is not fun at all, it's a big bad world out there and it sounds like she had a shit time and a fucking shit time at that. Everybody has a story Naomi and they will tell it to someone."

She really had her ways of making me think and bringing me crashing back to Earth with a bang, I uttered quietly "Ok I'll think about it."

We were both distracted by a knock on the door, I got up to open it, mum smiled at me "I've got your lunch love."

I took the two plates from her "Thanks mum it looks great."

She smiled "You're welcome love, anyway I will leave you both to it I'm going to take this to Emily."

I felt Effy nudge me from behind, I never have worked out how that girl moved so quickly but quietly at the same time but I took the hint "Mum wait." She turned back to look at me "I'll do it."

Mum smiled and passed me the plate and I moved towards Emily's bedroom door. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I heard mum talking to Effy "Thanks love I don't know what you said to her but it seems to have worked." 

* * *

Emily

There was a light tap on my door I looked at the clock on my wall and assumed it would be Gina bringing me some lunch, she really was looking after me. I quickly wiped the tears away from my eyes I wish I could fucking stop crying, I would have thought I would have run out of tears by now I've shed so fucking many. I walked over and opened the door and was surprised to see Naomi standing in front of me. I wiped another tear away and spoke quietly "Urm hi."

She smiled slightly but I could see she was nervous "Hi, I urm, urm just brought you some lunch."

I couldn't help but smile a little "Thanks." I took the tray from her "I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing now."

I was about to close the door again but Naomi stopped me "I, I was wondering if we could talk a minute."

She surprised me again she hadn't wanted anything to do with me so far so why did she suddenly want to talk now, I moved aside giving her to go ahead to come in. She stepped in tentatively and could see just how nervous she was. I sat on the edge of the bed and lightly tapped the mattress next to me "You can sit down you know."

She moved to sit down thankfully leaving some space between us I wasn't ready to have anyone to close to me just yet even though I knew Naomi wouldn't hurt me. I took a deep breath "Your mum has put you up to this hasn't she."

Naomi looked down to the floor and muttered "Yeah I guess."

I sighed "It's ok you don't need to do this, I'm ok really."

She lifted her head and I just assumed she would get up and leave but she didn't instead she looked directly at me and I know this was not really the time but I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was and her eyes, I think I could get lost in them forever. She quickly brought me back to the here and now "You're not ok though are you, I hear you crying through the wall, you are having nightmares every night and it doesn't take a genius to work out you have been through something and eventually you need to talk to someone about it so I am hoping you might talk to me. Mum is really worried about you and I don't like seeing her worried like this and I know you think I don't like you but that is not the case I am worried about you too, just don't repeat that to anyone I have a reputation to uphold."

I couldn't help but laugh a little "I will keep it between you and I and I will keep in mind what you have just said but seriously at the moment I am just not ready."

She smiled slightly and stood up "I will leave you to your lunch then just remember Emily you need to talk to someone and you need to do it soon before it continues to eat you up inside." 

* * *

She closed the door behind her when she left leaving me alone once more, I was so fucking annoyed with myself I knew what Naomi had said was true but all my barriers came crashing back up around me and it was like my whole body went into shutdown and once again I felt like I was drowning in my emotions. I had to stop all of this from ruining the rest of my life.

After an hour of debating with myself as I ate my lunch I found myself hovering outside Naomi's bedroom. I took a deep breath and before I could change my mind I lightly tapped on the door. She opened it quickly and I could tell she was surprised; I smiled slightly suddenly feeling extremely nervous "I was wondering if we could talk."

Now she looked even more surprised "Urm yeah, it's just."

She was cut off by a taller brunette behind her "It's ok Naomi I'm going to head off, you talk to Emily." The brunette then turned to me "As Naomi here isn't going to remember her manners I'm Effy Naomi's best mate for my sins."

I shook her hand and smiled "Nice to meet you but don't leave on my account I can do this later."

Effy shook her head "No it's ok it's time I got on and I can just imagine how hard it was for you to knock on that door in the first place." She turned to Naomi "Be nice."

Naomi smacked her playfully as she shot out the door leaving me standing opposite the blonde. She smiled a little and moved aside letting me into her room closing the door behind us. I knew there was no going back now I knew we had to start somewhere.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next chapter of this :) I have been writing more and more each evening and am currently writing chapter nine, I know where I am going with this it is just a struggle to write sometimes as I want to get it right. Sorry for the hangover at the end of the last chapter and I may be apologising at the beginning of the next chapter too...**

**I would like to thank everyone for their reviews once again, I know I keep saying it but I seriously do love reading them, also thank you to everyone that added this to their alerts and favourites. **

**Anyway here goes...**

* * *

Chapter Four

Emily

I was nervous, I could feel my body trembling as I did battle with myself, one part of me screaming at myself that this was a really fucking bad idea and the other conflicting part screaming that I needed to talk to someone, I couldn't keep going on how I was. Naomi pulled out her desk chair for me to sit on before she sat on the edge of her bed, it was only when I went to sit down and she looked across at me that the part of me screaming that this was a bad idea won and I bolted for the door. Naomi was quick though and before I could pull the door open she was in front of me and fuck her eyes were gorgeous, I could swear she could look right inside me and I wouldn't care. I mentally shook myself quickly bringing myself back to the current situation. Naomi smiled at me softly and spoke just as softly "Emily I am not going to keep you here if you really don't want to stay but I'm guessing Effy was right and it wasn't easy for you to knock on that door so I'm also guessing you did actually want to talk."

A tear slipped from my eye and I quickly dropped my gaze cursing myself for fucking crying again. I didn't dare look back at the young blonde standing in front of me and she knew it "You can trust me Emily, I promise."

I slowly lifted my head to look at her again, my voice croaked through my tears "I, I know." I paused a second "It's just, just, I'm not sure I'm ready yet."

Naomi smiled slightly "Well how about we make a deal then."

I looked at her, the confusion in my eyes obviously evident from the look on her face "Ok."

She smiled again and bloody hell it only made her look even more gorgeous "We sit here and just chat, you know get to know one another better and then when you feel more comfortable you can tell me everything."

I nodded "Ok but, but why would you want to do that for me?"

She laughed a little "Let's just say both mum and Effy can be quite persuasive when they want to be." She paused "And anyway contrary to popular opinion I do actually have a heart, I do care however hard I try not to and I can see just like everyone else that you need someone."

I was a little taken aback but couldn't help but smile slightly "Ok let's do this."

She went back to sit on her bed as I sat back down "Ok so you ask me a question and then I ask you one and we'll take it from there."

I nodded "Ok, you start."

She laughed again "I knew you would say that. So I know you're called Emily but what's your full name?"

I smiled "Emily Marie Fitch." I paused "Now if I assume correctly you must be Naomi Campbell, any middle names?"

She smiled "You know you're the first person to say my name without laughing and yes Louise, at one point in my life I tried to call myself that instead but mum sat me down and said she had called me Naomi Louise Campbell not Louise Naomi Campbell and that I shouldn't care what other people think and I decided she kind of had a point plus she refused to let me change it so I was kind of stuck."

I nodded "She did have a point and anyway I for one am glad you didn't change it, I like Naomi." I paused a second "Anyway hit me with the next question."

She thought for a second, I knew she would have loads of questions for me but was just trying to put me at ease which was nice "Ok an easy one, how old are you?"

I laughed "I can just about manage that, 16."

She smiled "So mum was right you are the same age as me, due to start college in September."

My disappointment crept in "Yeah I was meant to be but not so sure now but enough about that for now." I could see Naomi wasn't going to push me for which was thankful, anyway now I know you are the same age as me when is your birthday?"

She rolled her eyes "I don't really do birthdays but it is the 30th September."

I looked shocked "How can you not do birthdays, they were always the best days when I was little." I paused "Not so much as I got older."

She smiled slightly "Things could always change again who knows what will happen in the future, go on then anyway when is the big day?"

I laughed "I am a summer baby, June 15th"

She smiled "I see some birthday BBQ's in the future then."

I sighed "Yeah maybe." I didn't want to think too far into the future after all I couldn't even say I would still have a roof over my head, I took a deep breath blocking out thoughts like that, I actually think I would rather be dead than out on the streets again "Anyway next question for you, have you got a boyfriend?"

She shook her head "No they are too much like fucking hard work and so bloody immature."

I laughed "True."

She joined in my laughter before asking me the same question "What about you then, have you got a boyfriend?"

I froze, I know I should have been expecting it, I guess I was just hoping she wouldn't want to know. I snapped "No."

She looked a little hurt and I immediately felt guilty "Sorry I shouldn't have snapped, it's just, well it's a long story."

She looked straight at me "I'm here to listen."

I took a deep breath "The last person I told didn't react very well to what I am about to tell you."

She smiled softly "Well I'm not them."

I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was still holding and blurted out "I'm gay." I refused to meet Naomi's gaze as another tear fell from my eye "Please don't be mad and please don't make me go out there again."

She looked shocked "I'm not mad Emily and I'm not going to make you go anywhere. It doesn't make any difference that you're gay."

I looked up and knew my eyes would be full of surprise "What about you're mum?"

She laughed "Mum won't be bothered, she always says you can't help who you fall in love with. You have nothing to worry about. Is this why you were out on the streets?"

I nodded "Yeah but I'm still not ready yet Naomi."

She smiled slightly "Ok, I'm not going to push."

I smiled "Thanks, anyway you just asked me two questions so two for you now. Number one, what's your favourite music?"

I could see she enjoyed music as she spoke about it "A mix really, music really helps me relax, I just lie here listening to it for ages sometimes but I guess if I had to pin point some favourites I would have to say The Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon, Razorlight and the Kaiser Chiefs."

I rolled my eyes I couldn't help it "All the indie shit then, although I guess some of it is ok like some of their earlier stuff before they became big." I could see Naomi trying not to laugh "Sorry I guess music is an important part of my life too I'm just more of a Metallica and Guns and Roses type of girl."

Naomi just laughed "Well the world would be a boring place if we were all the same."

I smiled "So true. Right question two, TV or Film?"

I couldn't help but continue to smile as Naomi thought, she eventually spoke breaking me from my thoughts about how beautiful she was once again "I enjoy both but I would probably have to say film, there is something about choosing a film depending on your mood and snuggling in to watch it through and I know you can do that with TV but on TV it's mostly series so you can't watch it altogether. Sorry that doesn't make much sense does it?"

I laughed "No it does make sense I know exactly what you mean, there's just something different about sitting down to watch a film, especially with popcorn."

She smiled softly and I could tell she was pleased I knew what she had meant, I held her gaze for a few seconds before lowering my head a little, she broke the silence "Right my turn, tea or coffee?"

I lifted my head again and laughed once more "Well that depends on what mood I am in, I like both." I paused unsure whether to mention it or not "Thanks by the way, you know for the coffee that day."

She blushed slightly "Well you know I was having a nice moment, they happen once or twice a year."

I laughed "Well lucky me on that day then. Anyway what about you, you strike me as a coffee girl."

She chuckled "Coffee in a morning definitely, actually who am I kidding coffee most of the day but I do also drink tea." She paused "Right sticking on this theme then "Chocolate or sweets?"

"Hmmmmmm." I had to think about this one "Chocolate, no sweets, no chocolate, no sweets, oh fuck I don't know they are both good."

Naomi laughed "Sweet tooth then, personally I usually lean more to the chocolate side."

I smiled "Yes I definitely have a sweet tooth, so come on then I now know you are a chocolate girl but what is your favourite food?"

She answered quickly there was no hesitation "Pasta."

I couldn't help but smile "Same, Katie and I used to…" I trailed off suddenly realising what I had started saying and the tears started spilling from my eyes all over again.

I tried to avoid looking at Naomi but I could see how concerned she was, she spoke softly "What happened to you Emily?"

Suddenly the barriers came crashing back up, my chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe, I ran to the door and escaped the confines of the room slamming the door shut behind me. I ran into my own room and curled up on my bed my tears flowing so fucking fast, all the pain from my cuts and bruises covering my body coming back, it wasn't until now I realised I couldn't feel it whilst I was talking to Naomi, I guess she had distracted me from everything as we talked.

I heard Gina come upstairs and could hear her and Naomi talking out in the corridor "What happened Naomi?"

Naomi sounded upset "I don't know mum we were talking, you know getting to know one another and we were getting on really well. She was showing signs of opening up so I asked her what happened and she started crying and took off."

I could hear the concern deep in Gina's voice "She really needs to open up, this is destroying her."

Naomi was quiet "I know." I could tell she was thinking, everything was really quiet until I heard a light tap on my door, I thought it would be Gina but once again I was surprised to hear Naomi's voice "Emily, please talk to me."

I didn't move I almost felt like I was frozen to the bed as I was battling with myself again, on one hand I knew I had to talk, open up and start letting myself heal but on the other hand I still wasn't sure I was ready. I just didn't know if I could open the door or not…


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok here is the next chapter of this, this is the one I think quite a few of you have been waiting for, I will admit now I have seriously struggled when writing this chapter, it was emotionally draining, I much prefer writing happy in love Emily and Naomi but in this story we have to get through all of the emotions before we can get to that. **

**I would like to thank everyone for their reviews and for adding this to your alerts and favourites, it really means a lot and I love reading what you have to say. **

**Anyway I will let you read this now, I just hope I have done this chapter justice...**

* * *

Chapter Five

Naomi

I stood outside Emily's door determined I wasn't going to give up on her, I could feel the tension radiating from mum as it felt like forever as we waited to see what Emily would do in reality though it hadn't been that long. With every passing second I began to doubt whether Emily would open the door. I looked to mum who looked like she was about to cry, I smiled slightly trying to reassure her "She'll be ok mum, let's give her some space."

Mum smiled and nodded before we started to move away. I turned around quickly when I heard Emily's door click open, I met her eyes and fuck she looked terrible, her eyes were blotchy and her cheeks tear stained. Her voice was rough as she spoke "Don't go." She paused and took a deep breath "I'm as ready as I'll ever be Naomi."

Mum looked at me and smiled slightly "I'll leave you to it just shout if you need anything."

I smiled "Thanks mum."

Mum made her way back downstairs and I walked towards Emily, she smiled ever so slightly and I followed her into her room. She sat on the edge of her bed and I joined her once again leaving some space. I could see her hands trembling with nerves as she turned to look at me briefly "I don't know where to start."

I smiled slightly "Why don't you start at the beginning, you have all my attention Emily and all the time you need."

She returned my smile "Ok, the beginning it is then." She paused taking another deep breath, I remained quiet giving her all the time she needed "Well I guess to start with I should tell you I have a twin sister called Katie and everything kind of started with her, as you know I am gay and deep down I have known for a while but have only just really admitted it to myself. Anyway I kissed the girl at school, I don't really know why I think I was maybe just wanting to see how it felt and it confirmed my feelings because it felt so right but then Katie walked in and let's just say she flipped. Eventually I got her to calm down and I admitted to her that I was gay; she turned round to me and said 'You're not gay, you're stupid.' I had started crying by this point as she continued yelling at me 'You are going to forget about all this nonsense, and that is all this fucking nonsense, you just need a good seeing to from a nice fit lad and whatever you do you do not say anything about this to mum and dad. We forget about this now, ok.' She didn't even give me the chance to say anything before she flounced out the room. I felt so deflated and just let my body crumple to the floor as the tears flowed faster. A week went by and nothing more was said about it between the two of us, in fact Katie was acting like nothing had happened but I was struggling with hiding who I really was, I felt trapped and eventually I snapped and decided enough was enough. I think in the back of my mind I was hoping mum would remember that even though I liked girls I was still her daughter so I sat her down with my dad and I told them I was gay, mum was screaming at me 'Don't lie to me Emily, why would you lie to me like that, it's not true someone has put these disgusting ideas in your head, I will not believe it.' Katie came into the room to see what was going on and mum started ranting again and Katie just turned round and said 'She's just being stupid mum.' My anger bubbled up inside of me as I listened to them and I screamed at them 'Stop just fucking stop I am not lying I am fucking gay, I like girls and nothing is going to change that. I mistakenly thought that my family might support me.' I looked at my dad and he looked torn but I could also see in that moment that he would not go up against my mum, my mum who was still screaming. I turned back to her and all I could see was anger and hate in her eyes, tears were streaming down my cheeks but still she kept on screaming before she grabbed my arm and she chucked me out the front door shouting 'If you insist on telling me that pile of rubbish you are no longer a part of this family and you are no longer living under this roof.'

My brother James, a little pervert who Katie and I were always beating up for perving on us was upstairs and he must have heard what was going on. I had been sat on the pavement outside for a few minutes feeling so alone when he opened his bedroom window and threw a small rucksack out at me. He quickly closed the window again; he could probably hear mum approaching or something. I looked in the small bag and saw a spare pair of clothes, I smiled slightly to myself, I know I was always getting at him for being a perv but he was now the only person who had helped me. Anyway I took one last look back at the house, if I am completely honest I guess I was hoping mum would change her mind but I was kidding myself, she had always been a homophobic bitch, and I walked down the road, I was scared and I didn't know where I was going, I didn't have many friends well any friends really Katie made sure of that by scaring everyone away that tried to talk to me. Eventually I settled in a shop doorway and tried to block out all the surrounding noises, people were walking past and they were looking but I had never felt so invisible, they would glance and then look away again quickly pretending they hadn't seen me. I could see people judging me, could almost hear them thinking 'Just another young girl that's run away from home after causing problems due to drugs or alcohol and tearing her family apart.' I just wanted to scream 'You don't fucking know anything about me or my situation' but what would have been the fucking point they didn't give a fucking toss about what I was going through. I moved about daily trying to stay warm, rifled through bins looking for any scraps of food and drank water from taps in public toilets. The cuts and bruises I had were thanks to one member of the public who decided he was going to kick me over and over and steal the one small bag that I actually had to call my own, he took everything I had and I was even more scared than I had been before, it terrified me to close my eyes in case it happened again.

It was a couple of days after that that you're mum found me and took me in. I was only out there for a week but in that moment you're mum found me and brought me back here and cleaned me up, let me have a shower and fed me, I felt so cared for and I felt safe."

The tears were streaming down her cheeks as she finished talking, fuck she even had me crying, how can anyone's family throw them out just for being gay, I really couldn't understand why it is still an issue these days. I didn't know what to say, I mean what the fuck could you say to comfort someone that has been through so much. I moved slightly closer to her so I could envelope her in my arms and show her that not everyone was bad. I was surprise though when she flinched and her whole body stiffened. It struck me quickly that she hadn't told me the full story "Emily what else happened out there, I know you haven't told me everything, please let me help you."

She turned and glanced at me and I could see the pain deep within her eyes, she took a deep breath "I just want to forget Naomi; it's not that I don't trust you."

I smiled slightly "I know but I don't think you will be able to just forget if you keep it all bottled up."

I could see her thinking through what I had said "Ok, but please don't hate me when I tell you."

My heart broke for her "After what you've been through I don't think anyone could hate you."

She took another deep breath "It was the night I was beaten up, I wasn't just beaten up."

She stopped as more tears poured from her eyes, I could see she was finding this really hard and I felt guilty for pushing her to continue, she had told me so much already, she had taken one step forward and here I was pushing her to take another "It's ok, why don't we leave this for today I can see you're struggling."

She took me by surprise when she shook her head "No you're right I need to do this." I nodded and have her the time to continue "This man, well as you know he kicked and kicked and this was after I told him to just take my bag, you know when I said that he just laughed and sounded so evil, I can still hear his words in my head 'That would be too easy, anyway people like you get what they deserve.' I tried to shelter myself from the kicks but he was just too strong, my whole body hurt like hell. When he stopped kicking I thought he would take my bag and leave me alone but I was so wrong."

She stopped and I could see she was trying to get her tears under control. I could feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks as my breath caught with fear about what I thought Emily was about to say, I hoped to God I was wrong but I was about to find out I wasn't "I felt his hot breath on my face and his fingers trace a line over my cheek, I begged him 'please don't' because I knew what he was about to do but he just laughed again and said 'But you're such a pretty young thing.' I couldn't stop crying as he pushed his body further against mine, I was in so much pain from the beating I just couldn't find the strength to fight him. I tried to block out the pain and tried to block out the sounds he was making and everything around me, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up, in fact I just wanted to be dead but nothing worked, I could feel everything and I could hear everything. When he was done he just left me on the ground, laughed and took my bag and all I could do was curl myself up trying to make an invisible cocoon around my body, I couldn't bring myself to move, I don't think I would have even been able to as the pain radiated through my body, all I could do was sit and cry, I had no control over my tears at all, haven't since that day if I am completely honest. I was still out there for a couple of days before you're mum found me but I could barely close my eyes I didn't dare, everything around me frightened me and I felt so hurt and alone."

My own tears were now falling as hard as Emily's as I took in what she had just told me, how could anyone want to hurt someone in such a way, that man had taken away a young girl's innocence and it was something that would no doubt haunt her forever. I knew I needed to pull myself together for Emily's sake; she was relying on me for support, my voice croaked as I spoke "Why would you think I would hate you for that?"

Emily looked at me and took a deep breath; I could see the relief flood through her eyes "Some people would say I brought it on myself."

I wiped a tear from my cheek "Well they are sick then." I moved closer to her, I didn't know how she would react but I also knew she needed a hug, I just wanted to envelope her in my arms and that's what I did, thankfully she didn't resist too much and she eventually just buried her head into my chest and cried so hard, her tears showing a mix of pain, hurt and upset but also relief. I whispered softly as I held her tightly "I will never let anyone hurt you again I will always be here to look out for you and support you, I promise Emily."

We stayed like that in silence apart from the sobs for, well I don't even know how long, but it was a while. I was leaving the next move up to Emily. Eventually she pulled away from me a little "You were right I needed to get it all off my chest."

She smiled slightly but I could tell there was still something bothering her "What is it Emily?"

She looked to the door before back at me "It's just I need to tell you're mum now, she helped me so much she needs to know."

I knew she was right but I wanted to spare her the pain of going through it all again "I'll tell her."

She looked surprised "You don't have to."

I smiled slightly "I know I don't but I want to, that's if you don't mind. I don't want you to go through the pain of telling it all again and you really look like you could do with some rest."

This time she smiled "I don't mind." She paused "Thank you Naomi, for everything."

I hugged her again "You're welcome." 

* * *

Once Emily was snuggled under the duvet I left her alone in her room. As soon as I closed her bedroom door I fell back against the wall everything overcoming me again, she was so fucking young yet she had been through so much and I had been so horrible when mum first brought her home. After a few minutes I tried to pull myself together and made my way downstairs to go talk to mum. I wandered into the kitchen still crying; mum turned around and quickly pulled me into her arms seeing my tears "Is Emily ok?"

I sniffled into her chest "Yeah, she's resting."

Mum kissed the top of my head "She opened up then."

I pulled back a little "Yeah, it's horrible mum, fucking horrible. I've come to tell you she said I could, I didn't want her going through it all again."

Mum nodded and led me over to the table "Ok, take your time love."

Mum had tears streaming down her cheeks as I finished telling her everything "She is so young, how could anyone do that to her, well to anyone but she was so vulnerable with no strength."

I wiped a tear from my cheek "I know and I don't know why but what I do know is I am going to help her through this."

Mum nodded "Me too love, me too, and thank you, I know you didn't want any of this but you really are helping."

I felt ashamed "I'm sorry for how I was in the beginning I was such a cow."

Mum was about to say something when I heard Emily screaming from upstairs. I shoved my chair back and ran as quickly as I could up the stair pulling her straight into my arms "It's ok, it's ok, you're safe, nobody is going to hurt you here Emily, I promise."

She began to calm down in my arms whispering over and over "I'm sorry."

My heart broke for her "You have nothing to be sorry for."

After a while she fell back asleep in my arms her tiredness completely consuming her and I knew I wasn't going anywhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is the next chapter of this, this one is a bit of a short one. I would like to thank everyone for their reviews, I really did love reading them, also thank you for adding this to your alerts and favourites. So Emily has opened up to Naomi thank you to the kick up the backside from Gina and Effy for Naomi to be nice and that is the first step for her but she has got a long way to go and things will develop slowly so please stick with this. **

**I will apologise for any mistakes in this, I have had a couple of shit days at work but wanted to post this today before shower and bed. Anyway here goes...**

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Chapter Six

Naomi

I lay with Emily and just let her sleep I just wanted her to feel safe and I wanted her to know I was here for her. I couldn't help but think about what she had told me, what she had been through. She had already been so much stronger than I would have been, I would have completely fallen apart but she had somehow kept on going. I was only broken from my thoughts when mum put her head around the door, she whispered "Is she ok?"

I nodded and whispered "Yeah she's sleeping again."

Mum smiled "She looks peaceful."

I nodded "Yeah."

She looked between Emily and I "I came to see if you wanted some dinner love."

I shook my head "I'm ok, I don't want to disturb her and I'm not leaving her. I'm going to stay in here with her tonight mum unless she wakes up and tells me that she's ok on her own."

Mum nodded "Ok love, I'll leave you both to rest."

I smiled "Thanks Mum." She returned my smile and gently shut the door behind her leaving me alone with a sleeping Emily. 

* * *

Emily 

I was surprised when I woke up the following morning to find myself curled up in Naomi's arms, I have to admit though it felt pretty fucking good even though I still felt a little resistance coming from myself, I couldn't help but watch her sleep for a while, I know it was a little creepy but she looked so peaceful and still as gorgeous as ever. I did know I needed to stop thinking about how gorgeous she was, Naomi was straight and even if she wasn't she wouldn't want me like that, I was damaged goods. I don't even know why I'm thinking like this it's not as if I am ready to let anyone in that way and I didn't think I would be for a long time to come, I can't even imagine letting anyone touch me intimately again.

I was broken from my thoughts when Naomi stirred, she slowly opened her eyes and I was met with the gorgeous blue that always drew me in, she smiled "Morning, how are you feeling this morning?"

I returned her smile "Morning, and ok thanks. Did you sleep here all night?"

She nodded "Yeah I didn't want to leave you, you were so scared after yet another nightmare. I hope you don't mind."

I smiled again I couldn't help it "I don't mind, in fact I think I probably need to thank you, last night was the best night's sleep I have had for a long time, you must have made me feel safe."

She returned my smile "I'm glad I could help, I want to help you in any way I can."

I felt a tear slip from my eye, nobody apart from Gina and Naomi had made me feel cared for since everything happened, Naomi wiped the tear away "Sshhhh its ok, it's all going to be ok."

I nodded "For the first time I actually believe that might be true." I paused "Naomi thank you for listening yesterday, I think everyone was right I needed to open up, I needed someone to listen like you did yesterday. I know I'm not going to get over this anytime soon but I feel like I have taken the first step."

She smiled "My door is always open when you need to talk." She paused and took a deep breath "Emily last night while you were sleeping I was thinking and please don't shut down again or get mad with me when I say this but I think we need to take you to the hospital and get you checked over."

My whole body stiffened and I knew she had felt it, I could feel the panic creeping in "Naomi, I, I can't, they will ask questions I am not ready to answer and then they will get the police involved and I don't want that, he was a complete stranger that nobody will ever find so I just want to put it all behind me and try and move on with my life however long it takes."

She looked straight at me "I will be with you every step of the way Emily and they can't make you talk to the police if you don't want to." She paused "I don't want to scare you Emily but you need to be checked over for the sake of your health, you know infections and stuff and god forbid if you are pregnant."

It suddenly dawned on me that she was right as much as it scared me "Fuck I never thought about any of that, I am so fucking stupid."

She tightened her hug around me "Now you listen to me, you are not stupid you are far from being stupid, you are a young girl who has been through so much and have had so much other stuff on your mind so I know exactly why you didn't think about that." She paused "Will you let me take you Emily?"

I nodded slowly, I knew it was something I needed to do "Yeah ok but, but you will stay with me won't you?"

She nodded "I promise Emily, I will not leave your side and I know mum won't either if you want."

I smiled "You have both been amazing looking after me; I will never forget any of this."

As if on cue there was a knock on the door, I called out "Come in Gina."

Gina came in "I've just brought you both some breakfast; you missed dinner last night so thought you would be hungry."

I laughed "Well I don't know about Naomi here but I am starving."

Naomi laughed next to me "Me too, thanks mum."

Gina put the tray down in front of us on the bed as we sat up "I'll leave you to it."

Naomi smiled "Mum before you go I am going to take Emily to the hospital today to be checked over, are you ok to come with us too."

She smiled "Of course I will I will drive you both."

I could tell she was pleased I was finally letting them help me as well as being relieved that I was finally getting myself checked over. "Thanks Gina, we'll come down when we are ready."

She nodded "Ok take your time." 

* * *

An hour or so later I followed Naomi down the stairs, Gina was sitting in the lounge waiting for us, she smiled "It's nice to see you out of your room Emily."

I smiled "It feels pretty nice too." I paused "And Gina I said this to Naomi earlier and I want to say it to you as well." I paused again "Thank you for helping me and taking me in, I will always be so thankful."

Gina jumped up and hugged me as once again tears began rolling down my cheeks "You don't need to thank me love I am just glad I can help you." She paused "Now do you think you are ready to go."

I nodded as she released me from the hug "Yeah as I'll ever be." I took a deep breath "Let's get it over and done with."

Gina and Naomi walked towards the door and I took a deep breath before following I knew I just needed to put one foot in front of the other but the closer I got to the door the further the panic rose inside me. I could feel the fresh air and it felt good but I just couldn't take the step I needed to out the door. I sat down on the stairs finding it hard to breathe as my chest felt tighter and tighter. I tried to speak between my breaths "I… I… can't…"

Naomi was quickly next to me, she put her arm around my shoulder and once again I resisted slightly but let her do it, she whispered softly "It's ok don't try and talk. You need to take some deep breaths Emily, ok."

I nodded and watched as Naomi started breathing, I knew she was trying to encourage me and it was working. I copied her actions and gradually began to feel my chest loosening and my breathing became more even. Once I could get my words out properly again "Sorry, you must be fed up of me."

She rolled her eyes "We are not fed up with you Emily and I don't fucking want to hear you talking like that again, you have been through so much and it was always going to be hard for you stepping back outside for the first time."

I smiled slightly "Thank you."

She returned my smile "Now shall we try again but this time I am going to keep a firm hold on your hand, we just need to get to mums car."

I turned to look straight at her "You're the best you know that."

She laughed "I'm not sure many would agree with you."

I smiled "Well I mean it." With that I took a deep breath and stood up pulling Naomi up with me "Right let's do this."

We took the step out the door together and it did feel good to be outside again, I did know I would not be out here without Naomi's hand in mine though and I couldn't help but smile as Gina said softly "I'm so proud of you Naomi Campbell."


	7. Chapter 7

**Day off today so here is the next chapter of this before a full weekend of work. I would like to thank everyone for their reviews once again I know I keep saying this but I really do love reading what you think and thank you for adding this to your alerts and favourites. **

**You are perfectly right Marsupial1974 Emily was using everything she had to block out what had happened, she needs Naomi to help her through everything and she is going to be there every step of the way. GloryMorgan I hope you haven't had to many atrocious ideas going round your head, the hospital won't be easy for Emily but she has Naomi with her. I have always been more of an Emily girl, yes I love Naomi too but Emily was always my favourite so I hate writing about bad stuff happening for her but I'm sure it will steadily get better for her. **

**Anyway here is this chapter, I hope it is ok...**

* * *

Chapter Seven

Emily

I was up in my room again I had been trying to get some rest but I couldn't seem to settle. We had got back from the hospital a couple of hours ago, I can't say it had been an enjoyable experience, don't get me wrong most people had been lovely but I could tell they wanted me to tell them what had happened, something I remained determined I was not going to do and thankfully Naomi and Gina backed me up all the way. I know they weren't stupid and could work out what had happened to a certain extent. I had been poked and prodded, had blood taken scans done and Naomi had held my hand through it all, I did tell her she could wait outside the cubicle if she wanted I knew it must have been uncomfortable for her especially when it came to examining the more intimate places but she stayed with me for which I would be eternally grateful. Everything had felt so uncomfortable and the sympathetic looks I was getting from the hospital staff seriously didn't help. I really think I would have been completely lost without Naomi especially when it came to the examination down below, I had been scared stiff anyway and completely clamped up at first just at the mention but Naomi had reassured me that everything would be ok, nobody was going to hurt me so I relaxed a little but that only lasted until the doctor came into my cubicle. I shook my head and had looked at Naomi who looked like she was about to explode with anger as she faced the male doctor standing at the bottom of my bed. I can still remember the conversation "I don't fucking think so, you are not fucking going anywhere near her. Do you not fucking think with the obvious nature of this case a female doctor would be more fucking appropriate?"

He looked at me a little confused, a tear rolled down my cheek as Naomi had gripped my hand, I whispered "You're not going near me."

Gina popped her head in "What's going on..?" she stopped when she saw the male doctor who was now reading my notes "You've got to be kidding me."

Naomi turned to her mum "He hasn't even fucking read her notes mum."

He looked up at me a little apologetic as he finished reading "I'm sorry Miss Fitch I will go and find a female doctor right away."

Naomi glared at him as he walked away "So I should fucking think." She then turned her attention back to me "You ok?"

I nodded "Yeah I'm so glad you're here though."

She smiled slightly "Me too and for the record I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Gina had double checked I was ok before she stepped out the cubicle again leaving me with Naomi. She didn't need to say anything again but I knew she was seriously proud of Naomi. I returned Naomi's smile just as a female doctor came in and once again apologised and I saw Naomi relax a little. I still wasn't keen to go through this but it was a little more comfortable with a female and she was as gentle as she could be.

I found out I had a couple of broken ribs and some internal bruising but my ribs were slowly healing and there was no serious damage to any of my major organs. I was bruised at the top of my thighs and a little internally but again in time that would heal. The doctor had advised no sex for a couple of weeks, Naomi had just glared at her as I really felt like screaming "As if I'm fucking ready for that anytime soon or even ever. I would get the results from the blood tests in a couple of days so until then I wouldn't know if I was infection free but one thing I did know today was that I wasn't pregnant, I couldn't hide my relief when I was given the news, I really don't know what I would have done if it had been different. 

* * *

I was getting so fed up of not being able to settle I decided to get up and do something useful, not sure what yet but I'll find something. I walked across the room and pulled my trousers back on when there was a knock on the door, I opened it and couldn't help but smile when I saw Naomi standing in front of me, she smiled slightly "I'm not disturbing you am I, it's just I heard you moving around and wanted to check you were ok."

I smiled again "That's sweet of you, I'm ok though just couldn't settle."

She nodded slightly "It's been a busy day and you've got a lot on your mind." She paused "Anyway I wondered if you wanted to come watch a film with me, I've even made popcorn."

I laughed "You were listening then."

She pretended to be offended which only made me laugh harder and eventually she gave up and joined in. Once she managed to control herself she looked straight into my eyes "You know it's nice to see you laughing more."

I smiled "It's nice to be laughing more." I paused "I have you to thank for that. Now though I think someone has promised me a film and popcorn."

She laughed and took my hand "Come on then." 

* * *

I settled myself on the sofa, it felt so good to be out of the confines of my room, yes I know it was my choice but I felt bad about everything, disrupting Gina and Naomi's lives, everything that has happened to me, but now I was starting to feel more at home and both Naomi and Gina had been so kind. Naomi came and sat next to me with a large bowl of popcorn after putting the film on, she had chosen a romantic comedy something she knew would help me relax.

Gina walked through from the kitchen "Will you two be ok for an hour or so I need to go out and stock up the cupboards."

Naomi smiled "We'll be fine mum, you don't need to worry Emily and I are friends now." She looked over to me and I confirmed what she was saying earning a smile from Gina who seemed satisfied and left us to our film. 

* * *

As the credits rolled I felt relaxed, it had been the best afternoon and it was the first time I actually felt like maybe in time life could feel normal again and that was all I really wanted. I shifted my body as Naomi flicked off the TV so I could see her properly "You know you're my first proper friend."

She looked a little surprised "I'm honoured but it can't be true, a kind hearted girl like you must have had loads of friends, I know you said Katie tried to stop people talking to you but she can't have scared everyone off."

I shook my head "Somehow she managed to scare everyone off, she always wanted to be the popular one, the one in control of everything and I was always in her shadow scared to step out because I didn't know how she would react. Eventually people just gave up trying to get to know me, I felt so lonely and I wanted to have the courage to do something about it but I just couldn't bring myself to take the step.

Naomi hugged me, I felt more and more comfortable in her hugs and I know she was slowly going to help me heal; she spoke softly "Well you have me now and I'm sure my friends will love you when we start college."

I felt my body freeze and Naomi pulled away from me "What is it Emily?"

I wasn't sure how to put this but I knew I needed to try "I'm, I'm not sure I can go to college, I need to get a job and start paying Gina some rent, I can't expect her to put up with me and have the added expense on top, it's not fair."

Gina came into the lounge and Naomi looked surprised "We didn't hear you come in."

She looked at us both "No I came in quietly as I didn't want to disturb you but it sounds like I came back at just the right moment." She turned her full attention to me "You will do no such thing young lady."

I opened my mouth to argue but Gina cut me off "Emily I want you to go to college and get an education, I want you to have a future and most of all I want you to be able to move on with your life and get everything back to normal. This is your home Emily and I do not want any money from you and that is the last time we are going to have this conversation."

I looked at Naomi before looking back at Gina and knew this was a fight I was not going to win so relented "Ok." 

* * *

We were distracted by the doorbell, Naomi quickly went to answer it as Gina took the shopping into the kitchen, I followed her through "Well you can at least let me help you put that away."

She laughed "Well I won't argue with that."

Once Gina and I were done I went to go back into the lounge, I could see Naomi sitting on the sofa with a young guy about her age. From where I was standing I could see he had a cheeky kind of face. Gina came up behind me "Oh it's Cook, he's one of Naomi's friends, a bit of a live wire."

I smiled "He looks it." I could see him looking around before turning his attention back to Naomi "Now Naomikins Eff said you had a hot bird staying here."

I couldn't help but laugh as Naomi rolled her eyes but turned slightly towards the kitchen "Em come in here a minute I've got someone I want you to meet."

I smiled at the nickname before walking back into the lounge. Cooks eyes widened and Naomi smacked him on the arm "Cook meet Emily and before you try it on she's gay."

I knew Naomi was saying that to try stop Cook saying anything suggestive. He had a glint in his eye though as he smirked "Well that's nothing a willy waggle with the cookie monster won't cure."

Naomi groaned and I tried my best to stop all the feelings creeping back in but was unsuccessful, I felt like I was drowning all over again as everything came back from that night. I felt like the walls were closing in on me as tears started pouring from my eyes again. I knew I had to get out of here and bolted for the door needing the comfort of my bedroom. I could hear Naomi yelling at Cook "You're a fucking idiot, I was hoping me telling you she was fucking gay would stop you being a complete prick for once in your fucking life."

I heard the living room door slam shut and knew she was coming after me. She banged on my door and weakly I managed to get my words out "Come in."

She rushed over to me and enveloped me in her arms as I sobbed into her chest again; I really needed to stop doing this it is time I pulled myself together. Naomi whispered softly "It's ok, it's ok, he won't hurt you I promise, I know it's no consolation but he is just messing he does it with everyone. He's a nice lad really."

I pulled away from her and wiped my tears away "I'm sorry it just took me back, you know to what Katie said about needing a good seeing to and then to what happened, well you know about that." I paused "I'm sure he's lovely, I can't imagine you being friends with someone who isn't, I just need to stop reacting like this."

Naomi pulled me into another hug "Don't you dare talk like that everything is still so raw and it is going to take time. I would be more worried if you didn't react like this because that wouldn't be normal, the way you keep reacting is normal."

I whispered against her chest "You're too nice sometimes."

She shook her head "No I'm just honest."

We sat in silence for a while with Naomi just holding me, she only moved when there was a light tap on the door and she got up to answer it. She only opened it slightly "Not now Cook it's not a good time."

"Please Naomikins." He sounded concerned "I just want to apologise."

I didn't want Naomi falling out with him over this, my voice was croaky but the words came out "It's ok Naomi."

She turned round to me "You sure."

I nodded "Yeah."

She opened the door properly "Ok but apologise from there ok."

He nodded "Ok." He looked in my direction "I'm sorry Emily Gina has also just given me a serve for being a prick but she did tell me that you've been through a lot." He stopped but quickly added "No details about anything but I'm sorry if I upset you."

I smiled slightly "It's ok, everything is just sensitive at the moment, I'm not always like this."

He smiled "Well I will look forward to getting to know you."

Naomi smiled at me "See I told you he could be nice." I laughed and she turning back to him "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that."

He grinned "It's ok Naomikins, it takes more than that to get the cookie monster down. I know you wouldn't have reacted like that without reason. Anyway I'll leave you two lovely ladies to it."

Naomi stopped him "Cook you didn't really just come round to check Emily out did you?"

He laughed "Fuck no I nearly forgot I also came to see if you were coming out with Eff and I tonight." He turned to me "You too Emily."

I quickly shook my head I was definitely not ready for that. Naomi looked to check I was ok before turning round to Cook again "Not tonight Cook."

I felt guilty I didn't want to stop Naomi living her life "Naomi its ok you go out and have some fun, I've caused you enough trouble, I don't want you staying in because of me."

She looked right at me "I'm not leaving you at the moment Emily there will be other nights to go out. You are my priority at the moment."

Cook laughed breaking the tension "Who knew you had a heart Blondie."

She smacked him on the arm again "Get out of here, I'll see you soon."

He nodded "Too right Blondie." He looked past her to me "See you Emily."

I smiled "Bye Cook, nice to meet you."

Naomi came back to sit with me "See I told you my friends would like you."

I laughed "Yeah, it will be nice to get to know them better one day soon."

She smiled "Come on lets go let mum know you're ok and see what's for dinner, I'm starving."

I smiled and followed her out the room "Me too."


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is the next chapter of this, I am getting frustrated with myself with this story I know what I want to write but I keep struggling to actually put the words down on paper to do the story justice. I don't know how to describe this next chapter really, it is kind of a filler chapter that is going to move the story along a little.**

**I would like to thank everyone for the reviews once again, I really do love reading them. I am glad people like Naomi in this, she is going to be a huge part of Emily's recovery and Marsupial1974 one Naomi being ordered for you lol. **

**Anyway here it is... **

* * *

Chapter Eight

Naomi

Emily was still struggling, she was trying to hide it but I could see through her, she was still finding reasons to spend long periods of time on her own in her room and when she did I could hear her crying through the wall. When she did come out of her room she would jump at the slightest unexpected sound and was still refusing to step outside. As well as this she was still having nightmares every night, waking up in the middle of the night trembling as she was screaming and crying every time feeling like she was right back in the situation again. I spent most nights sleeping in with her holding her in my arms until she could settle again reassuring her that she was safe. Thankfully she really seemed to be trusting me more and more, there did however always seem to be emotions she was holding back from me, it was like she couldn't completely let me in but the more I thought about it as she slept in my arms the more understandable it was to me, she had been through so much and the people she had always trusted the most had let her down so fucking much so it was bound to be hard for her to trust new people. She had had some good news though, all her test results had come back negative so she was infection free, she had to repeat the HIV one in a couple of months to be completely sure but that had been a huge weight from her mind. It was the emotional side of things she had to continue to battle now.

The times I had managed to coax Emily from her room we had stayed around the house and during those periods of time Emily had appeared relaxed and was laughing, fuck it was good to see her laughing. I couldn't help but notice how pretty she was especially when she laughed, her whole face lit up and she always had a twinkle to her eye.

We spent time just the two of us watching rubbish day time TV and films, and when we got bored of that I tried to educate Emily on music but she was a strong character and decided she was going to also educate me, in the end we decided to agree to disagree… for now anyway."

Mum had got us both in the kitchen trying to teach us to bake, let's just say she wasn't very successful as nothing ever turned out as it should and we always ended up with a gigantic mess to clean up. The good thing was that Emily looked so relaxed and looked happy, the time she was distracted in the kitchen she wasn't thinking about anything else. I am starting to think that was mums plan from the beginning as she definitely knows I am no good in the kitchen. She really was being amazing with Emily, I know how worried she was but she didn't push anything with her, she just came up with these cunning ideas to help her relax and distract her. The other idea she had come up with was brilliant, Em and I had been sitting watching good knows what on TV when mum came bustling into the lounge with a couple of tins of paint and put them down in front of us "Right girls I have got you some paint, Naomi I thought you could help Emily paint her room, you know help her make it feel more like her own."

I smiled "Yeah good idea."

We both looked over to Emily who was looking at the tins of paint "This is amazing Gina, how did you know this was my favourite colour?"

Mum smiled "Well I wasn't earwigging but I could hear you and Naomi talking in here the other day and at some stage you were talking about colour, I won't even ask why."

Emily smiled and got up from the sofa giving mum a brief hug "Thank you Gina you didn't have to do this."

Mum smiled slightly "I wanted to do this Emily, I want you to feel like this is your home and I want you to put your stamp on the place so you paint that room however you want it."

A tear slipped from her eye and she quickly wiped it away "I wish my own mum could be as nice to me as you, before all this happened I knew she loved me in her own way but Katie was always her favourite, she made that pretty fucking obvious."

Mum was shocked I could tell but she tried to hide it from Emily "Well I know it's not the same but we are your family Emily and you are always welcome here. I meant it when I said this is your home."

More tears slipped from her eyes and I knew she was overwhelmed, overwhelmed in a good way but I could still tell she needed to be away from the situation so I grabbed a couple of the tins of paint and walked towards the stairs "Come on then Emily looks like we have some work to be getting on with."

She smiled and picked up the rest of the stuff following me, only briefly turning back to mum "Thanks again Gina, for everything."

I knew mum would be smiling "Your welcome love, now go have fun."

And fun we did have, once again Emily was distracted, she was laughing and loosening up, I could see her body relaxing as we both painted and danced to the radio turning the room into what Emily wanted… a sanctuary of her own, somewhere she felt safe and loved. 

* * *

Today I found myself waking up in Emily's bed again with her curled up in my arms. I couldn't help but notice her tear stained cheeks and red eyelids. She had woken up screaming and crying again at about midnight. I had rushed in to her and pulled her trembling body against mine her tears soaking my pyjama top. Thankfully she had stopped trying to resist my hugs now, yes she had always let me but there had always been some resistance, this just confirmed in me that she was trusting me so much more.

She stirred in my arms and slowly opened her eyes, she wouldn't meet my gaze. I gently rubbed my arm "Emily look at me."

She lifted her head slightly and spoke very quietly "I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes and she smiled ever so slightly "I wish you would stop apologising I want to help you as much as I can but we both know I can't keep staying in here with you."

She nodded against my chest "I know I'm sorry I keep disrupting you."

I rolled my eyes again "Stop apologising." I paused "Emily I'm going to have a look later on the internet to see if there is anything else we can do to help you."

Her body stiffened slightly "I don't want to talk to any professionals, I can't Naomi."

I quickly shook my head "No I didn't mean that I know it was a big enough step for you to talk to me so long as you keep talking to me that is all I will ask from you about that, I just meant I am going to look to see if there are any ways to help you relax more, help you move forward. I hope that makes more sense."

She smiled slightly "I promise I will keep talking to you, you are about the only thing stopping me going insane right not, well you and your mum." She paused "And thanks that sounds good I really do want to climb out of this dark hole I seem to be drowning in."

I couldn't help but feel so bad for her "We will get you your life back, I promise."

She smiled "I hope so I don't think I can go on like this much longer." 

* * *

We got up soon after our talk and spent some time having breakfast downstairs. Almost straight away after breakfast Emily disappeared back up to her room, I know her nightmares were really bothering her. I used my time to look into helping her and as I sat in front of my laptop I had found some interesting stuff to read, I grabbed a notepad and pen from my desk to scribble some stuff down for Emily to read.

_Find a happy place, you can make it up or base it on somewhere you've been. Make sure it's calm and relaxing. Don't tell anyone you don't want appearing there or they will mess it up._

_Think happy thoughts just before bed. As soon as something bed begins happening force yourself awake._

_Talk to someone you trust and explain your nightmares and why they scare you. Letting your feelings out makes things better. _

_Write a journal, write out everything that happens including how you felt._

_Relaxation techniques e.g. yoga, meditation and breathing exercises, physical exercise and ensuring that your bedroom is a relaxed, stress-free environment. _

I looked over the list wondering if any of them would help Emily, I really hope they would as she deserved so much better then she was experiencing at the moment. I put my laptop away and quickly rifled through my desk draws until I found an old unused journal. I got it a few years ago as part of a new year's resolution but as usual never did anything with it; I always gave up before I started. In fact in all honesty I think I can say trying to help Emily through this was the first thing I have ever remained committed to doing. I smiled to myself before picking up the journal, a pen and the list I had just written and made my way to Emily's room determined that between the three of us under this roof we would get Emily her life back.


	9. Chapter 9

**I have just started following a few of you on twitter and I have to say you keep me amused with some of the tweets. **

**Ok here is the next chapter of this, I am going to post this but after that I am not sure if I am going to continue this or not, I am enjoying writing it but I just don't think I am doing a very good job with the content of this story, anyway I will see what you all think and then make the decision. **

**I don't know what to say about this chapter really, I'm not sure I like it or not but have decided to just post it. **

**Thank you again for the reviews and for adding this to your alerts and favourites, I love reading them. **

**Anyway here goes...**

* * *

Chapter Nine

Emily 

I looked over the piece of paper Naomi had given me over and over again, the stuff she had written down did make some sense I just didn't know if any of it would work. I felt like I was in too deep to ever pull myself back. Naomi's words were running round my head as I looked over the list again "Anything is worth a try Emily, just give something a go."

She left me alone to think, the one thing I could say about Naomi was she always knew when I needed space and she always respected what I needed. I picked up the journal she had given me with the list and opened it to the first page ready to start writing; I knew she was right I needed to try whatever I could to pull my life back together. I couldn't help but smile slightly as I saw Naomi's scribble on the page '_Anything is possible and don't forget I'm always here when you need me.' _

I picked up the pen to start writing, knowing I needed to start at the beginning of everything, it was the beginning that led to the end outcome that started the downward cycle. _I was always used to feeling like the lesser twin, mum always favoured Katie, she was the one who was in to fashion, the one always bringing boys home and she always agreed with whatever mum said. I however kept myself to myself, wore what I felt comfortable in and never brought boys home. Mum would always be at me 'when are you going to bring a nice boy home Emily.' If I am honest the thought of it made me sick, I knew I liked girls but couldn't quite admit it to myself until that day at school I kissed that girl and Katie told me I wasn't gay just stupid.' Hearing her words made me realise I couldn't keep burying my feelings and I had to be honest with myself. When I decided to tell my parents I knew deep down that mum wouldn't be happy but I didn't expect her to react like she did, I thought she loved me enough to try and accept who I was, was it not the job of a parent to love their child unconditionally, I guess my mum didn't get that memo because she had no intention of accepting me, she showed me that by throwing me out with nothing but my phone and that was only because I was lucky and it was in my pocket. I felt so lonely out on the streets, I knew I had nobody and I honestly didn't know what I was going to do…_

A tear slipped down my cheek as I paused what I was writing, I knew I needed to keep going because I really did want something to help and I had to try whatever I could. I was about to start writing again when there was a light tap on my door, I called out quietly "Come in."

I smiled when I sae Naomi come in "Hi you."

She smiled "Hey, I came to see how you were plus you need to get out of this room, you think far too much in here and it gets you down."

I laughed a little "I was actually writing in the journal you gave me, you know from the beginning of everything."

She smiled a little "I just hope it helps, and I know I was right about the thinking so come on I have a plan to help you with something else. Put your shoes on and meet me downstairs."

I shook my head "No I know what you're trying to do Naomi and I just, I can't, I can't go out there."

She stepped a little closer to me "Emily you need to take that step, you need some air it won't be doing your health any good being cooped up inside all day every day, it's been a good couple of weeks now and you've only been to the hospital and back. I want to help you get your life back on track; it is only three weeks until we start college."

I stepped back a little shaking my head "I can't Naomi, I just fucking can't, it's too much Naomi, every time I think about going out there it all come flooding back."

She respected my space she knew I was upset "You have to do it at some point Emily; you need to take that step." She turned to walk away I guess leaving me to think and to avoid arguing anymore with me. I felt bad deep down I knew she was only trying to help me move on but I just couldn't. I slammed my door shut as she made her way downstairs and threw myself onto my bed tears rolling down my cheeks again, I was seriously getting fucking sick of crying now, I needed to pull myself together. I caught sight of my journal lying on my bed and grabbed it wondering if I wrote down how I was feeling now whether I could start working through the feelings stopping me going out. I picked up the pen trembling slightly _Naomi wants to take me out, apparently I need some fresh air, deep down I know she is right I've not been out properly for two and a bit weeks and I need to get myself sorted before college, I need to be strong because I can't keep breaking down there. The thought of going out terrifies me through, every feeling from that night comes rushing back however hard I try and push them away. I have no idea who he is, who he was and I'm scared that I will bump into him and he will remember who I am and try again, I know it is a long shot and I also know that Naomi would always be by my side but I just can't get rid of the feelings. I hate the way I keep feeling about my life I just want my life back, I want to be able to have fun again and whilst I still feel like this I know that can't happen. _

* * *

Naomi

I needed to stop worrying about Emily so much but I couldn't help it, I had never gone out of my way to help anyone like this before and I don't know what it is about Emily but she kept drawing me closer and I wanted to know more about her every day. She was upset though and it was all my fault, she was probably up there now thinking about all sorts and stressing herself out even more, why the fuck did I have to push her like that. I was still beating myself up internally when mum walked through from the kitchen "Did I hear you and Emily arguing earlier love?"

I nodded "Yeah I pushed her too hard mum and now I don't know what to do, she's been up there on her own a while now and she's really upset."

Just then Emily came quietly into the room "It's ok Naomi I know you were only trying to help me and I'm sorry I snapped at you like that."

I jumped up from the sofa "You shouldn't keep apologising to me and I shouldn't have pushed you I know I need to wait until you are ready."

She looked down at her feet and I thought she was still upset with me until I glanced down and saw she had her shoes on, I lifted my head "Em, you don't need to do this."

She looked up "I do, I need to start feeling like me again, I want my life back and I need to start doing something to get it back, but, Naomi I can't do this without you."

I took her hand "I will be with you every step of the way Emily."

She smiled slightly "Come on then, you can lead the way."

I smiled "I was thinking we could go to the park when I came up with the idea earlier."

She nodded "Ok."

Mum smiled "You two have fun and Naomi you make sure you look after her."

I rolled my eyes "You know I will mum."

I heard Emily take a deep breath as we reached the front door and I felt her grip tighten around my hand, I squeezed hers gently "You sure about this?"

She nodded "Yeah, I can't hide any longer."

I smiled "Ok."

I stepped out first never letting go of Emily's hand and after another deep breath she followed me out. I could feel her body trembling a little "You ready?"

She nodded "As I'll ever be, I just need to put one foot in front of the other." 

* * *

We slowly walked down the road making our way towards the park, Emily jumped every time there was a sudden noise but that was to be expected, it was going to take time for her to feel comfortable again especially outside. I kept her talking as we walked trying to keep her mind from drifting to the thoughts haunting her; it didn't stop her eyes wandering everywhere as we continued taking one step after another her hand still gripping mine tightly.

As we reached the gate to the park Emily stopped, I could hear her trying to catch her breath; I turned my body so I could look straight at her into her eyes "Emily you need to take some deep breaths like that morning on the stairs."

I could see she was struggling as I started to show her again all the time encouraging her to join in. After a minute or two she joined in and her breathing slowly began to regulate. I could see people walking by staring at us which was seriously pissing me off as this was hard enough for Emily already without other people adding to the stress. Once I knew Emily was managing her breathing on her own I turned slightly my anger getting the better of me "Can you just fucking keep on walking there is nothing to fucking see here."

Everyone looked a little shocked but thankfully they did start moving on. Emily pulled on my hand letting me know she was ready to take that next step. As we walked into the park Emily was quiet I knew she was thinking about everything and I wanted to give her the space she needed but after a few minutes she suddenly blurted out "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you back there something just made me panic."

I was quick to reply "You don't need to apologise and you didn't embarrass me, it's those fucking idiots that were staring that should be embarrassed."

She smiled slightly "I couldn't have done this without you."

I returned her smile "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

She smiled once more as we continued walking, the more we walked she seemed to relax more and more and I could tell she was really trying to enjoy herself. We chatted about anything and everything as we got to know one another better. As we walked further I spotted an ice cream van "Come on I'll get you an ice cream."

Her eyes grew "I love ice cream but you don't have to."

I rolled my eyes "I know I don't have to but I want to."

She looked apologetic "I'm sorry I shouldn't keep being like this I just, well I feel guilty, I don't have any money of my own and continuously feel like I'm taking advantage."

I stopped walking a minute "Emily I really want you to stop thinking like this, none of this is your fault. You will have your own money just as I do, mum gives me money every month in return for jobs around the house and I know she will do the same for you but she will be waiting until she feels you are ready, she wants you to have time to yourself for now. Oh and don't talk about that not being fair on mum, trust me I've talked about getting a part time job but she won't hear about it, she wants me to concentrate on my education and she will want the same for you."

She smiled slightly "I know better than to argue with that."

I laughed "Good, now let's get ice cream."

We sat on a bench at the top of the park with our ice creams watching what was going on around us. Emily was a lot more relaxed than when we left the house but she was still carrying a lot of tension which was to be expected. I would have been fooling myself if I thought one trip out would stop everything. I could see her eyes bouncing around in all directions as every single sound echoed around us, as every bush rustled or as a young child ran past shrieking as they had fun with their parents. I squeezed her hand "You ok?"

She smiled softly "Yeah, just a little spooked at times."

I smiled softly "It's to be expected, we both know it will take time but I want you to know you are doing amazingly, you've taken a huge step today."

She turned to me and smiled, her smile saying everything to me that she wanted it to.

We sat for a while just enjoying our surroundings until my phone rang, I answered it seeing it was mum, she sounded worried "Is everything ok love you've been a while."

I smiled slightly "Everything is fine mum, we've just been walking." I glanced at my watch "I didn't realise what time it was but we are on our way back now."

Mum sounded relieved "Ok love, see you soon."

I replied before hanging and turned to Emily "I'm guessing you heard that."

She laughed "Yeah, I guess it's true when people say time flies when you are having fun."

I laughed "Yeah."

We started making our way home Emily's hand still holding onto mine. I really felt happy for her she had taken a big step forward today and had done amazingly well, I'm really not sure I could have been this strong if it had been the other way round.


End file.
